Here’s a little surprise that sounds like it should come from any man’s ultimate psycho-girlfriend horror movie script. An unnamed man had just finished getting down-and-dirty with his girlfriend and excused himself to the restroom for some post-game activities. As he walked away, she asked him the oddest question: “peeing or pooping?” He answered the latter, even though it was really the former. It turns out, that was the answer she wanted to hear because she was buying time.
When he came out of the john, he found her attempting to dump the contents of the post-coital condom into her tunnel of love. When he tried to get her to stop, she started screaming “bloody f-ing murder” and “rape.” He left the scene immediately but took to a post on Redditto figure out what in the hell he should do next after this incredibly unusual and creepy situation.
As you might expect, the conversation got quite graphic and heated, and eventually was shut down by moderators. For the most part, those who offered constructive commentary hoped to high heaven that this nutjob chick was now his “ex-girlfriend.” Other advice included not letting that woman anywhere near his place ever again, and if she had property at his home, to find a neutral place to drop it and make sure he had witnesses to back him up.
Most importantly, if she ever comes back saying she IS pregnant, get a DNA test immediately. Maybe he could get Maury Povich to pay for it?