It Turns Out Osama Bin Laden Was a Scared Bitch In His Last Days
He urged his underling terrorists to not leave their houses in the Pakistani city of Peshawar “except on a cloudy overcast day” in order to avoid being picked up by drones.
Bin Laden even went so far as to kill four would-be volunteers on suspicion of spying – even though they later found that these volunteers were likely innocent. Oops.
When one of his wives went to the dentist, Bin Laden was worried that a tracking chip could have been implanted in her dental filling, you know, James Bond style.
The documents also claim that Bin Laden was planning a media campaign to capitalize on the tenth anniversary of September 11th. Which, of course, never happened because he was “neutralized” on May 2nd, 2011.