As it turns out, it was a baby finch that couldn’t have been more than two weeks old and obviously couldn’t fly yet. The men had a feeling this baby bird would be in trouble if they didn’t do something fast. However, both were pretty drunk at the time and knew they couldn’t drive anywhere. So they did the next best thing. They called an Uber.
That’s right, they called the baby finch an Uber and instructed the driver to take the bird to a local wildlife center. There was some confusion at the center once the Uber showed up with only a baby bird as a passenger but the driver explained what had happened. They sent it to a nearby wildlife center to be rehabilitated after the “dust” settled.
Now the bird’s doing much better and they think they’ll be able to release it back into the wild by the end of the summer, just in time for it to migrate.
Some birds have all the luck.